Have you ever felt like someone, finally really 'gets' you? Like they actually understand what you mean, without you having to explain yourself a hundred times? A real sense of connection?
Maybe you haven't felt that before, maybe it's something you long for, something you see on TV, movies, or on social media and you just wish you could find your 'person/people'.
I think everyone has moments where they feel they don't belong, some more than others. It's not a nice feeling either. It can lead to anxiety and stress, before entering a social setting, and it can cause us to make choices that we may regret later.
However your emotions manifest, through that feeling of not 'fitting in', it's important to remember social connections play a pivotal role in our minds state of happiness and being able to try to connect with others can often help us find more happiness...but to what degree of 'trying to connect' should one take it to...trying so hard to fit in, while not actually being true to yourself?...or heading home feeling lost and alone?
Finding a true sense of belonging can be a long road to take, a windy one that chops and changes along the way. What once fit, maybe doesn't anymore. People change, life stages change and it can be hard to make new connections all the time.
A good business manager understands the importance of building the company's comradery. If everyone in the business is joined in the spirit of friendship and 'togetherness' in the group, then when they turn up to work the 'happy' hormones called dopamine are released. Everyone works well together, enjoys their work, does their best, and the business thrives (in short). The team are working together for the same values and goals. However, If there is a disconnect between the staff and communications and role tasks start to break down, because the common goals and values have changed, then there is a problem and the once 'well-oiled' machine begins to de-rail. Here again, reminding us of the success of a team working together for the same goal, with the same/similar value system..
In the previous case the goals and values are business related. But, when it comes to finding your person/people/tribe, where you really fit in, as yourself, it's important to make sure the goal is true to your heart. If you are focusing on your own passions, goals and values, then the universe will place you with others who are after the same results.
You may find the goal is something as simple as getting fit together, making it through parenting toddlers together, battling illness together, breaking addictions together, enjoying the same books, appreciating flowers, art, make-up, hunting...whatever it is...it's about connecting.
Connecting with people who have similar passions,beliefs,goals and values as you! That's where you find your true connection.
I believe, in order to find your tribe you need to be true to yourself. Do what you love, follow your hobbies, dance your dance, play your sport or your game, enjoy your passion..not what someone else says you should do, or what you think you should be doing, just to be accepted, and 'fit in'.
The only way to find your true people who you will really connect with is if you let your walls down and be yourself. A lovely friend reminded me of a theory developed by American sociologist Erving Goffman called Dramaturgy and according to his perspective individuals perform actions in everyday life as if they were performers on a stage.
Now, ain't that the scary truth for too many people we know?! Maybe it even strikes a chord with yourself. Take a moment to allow yourself to put the guard down, hop off the 'stage' and be your true self. For the sake of the next generation...teach them that what they see on social media isn't always (hardly ever) the truth! A little transparency is good for us!
So - who is with me? Be yourself, enjoy what you love, love what you do...you get my drift. I know you can't action things today, but maybe, just maybe next time you are about to do something or act in a certain way because you are worrying about what others think, maybe you will stop and just be yourself.
Be true to yourself. Then you will find your tribe/person/people turn up alongside you, because you are in the place you are meant to be in the universe.
Be your own self and you might find the world isn't so lonely after all.
Declutter the mind, cancel the overthink and JUST DO IT YOUR WAY! x