Okay guys, I've been preaching about being kind to yourself for around 5 years now...how's that going for you all?
The other day someone said. I wish you would just write a book already, with all your points numbered. I agree with everything you say...I just forget half the time.
So, I am not about to write a book (just yet, haha) but I did decide to jot down my ideas and foundations for self care. I feel that without these bangers sorted you are clutching at a dirt wall.
First up: every evening - make a request to your subconscious. Your subconscious is working while you sleep and if there was ever a time we could do ourselves a favour, it would be while we were sleeping. Maybe scribble in your journal before bed to get the ideas flowing and then remind the mind to keep working on some possible solutions to whatever is restricting you from being you, while you sleep.
Yep - like magic. ASK your subconscious or TELL your subconscious mind what you want to do and watch the magic unfold, in time.
It feels to me like we’ve lost the ability to be productive and positive. We need to look after ourselves and come back to a place of self care. Self care has been lost in the noise of everything, diets, workouts, social media, plans, life, you name it. We have lost the self care - the essence, core, foundation of progress, for goals related to ourselves.
We need to take car of ourselves, value ourselves.
But EVERYTHING IS MARKETED towards, or directed towards not liking yourself, not being enough, hating your way to a body you love, punishing yourself for the things you have done, earning your rewards or punishing yourself for the choices you have made.
We need to stop trying to hate our way to a body we love! You just can't do it!
Too many of our attempts to change end up defying self care. We try to under power our hunger, resent our bodies and the messages they send. We focus on what is NOT ENOUGH about who we are, what we are and what we do.
I win when I work with my body, and I loose every time I try to fight against it.
It will never be my brain against my body - we are always going to be on the same team!
We resent ourselves and focus on what is not enough, we deny ourselves and try to be something different, instead of trying to be kind to ourselves.
Diets, fasting, detoxes etc, we are trying to escape ourselves to create something new. We ignore ourselves, or come from a place of ‘I hate my body so it must change’…if you get results that way, you are going to miss out on your life NOW…
And when you get to your result, its never going to be good enough, because nothing has ever been good enough for you.
All growth and progress comes from a desire not to escape yourself, transform yourself, but TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
Many of us lack self respect, we don't like what we see in the mirror. Okay - how do I ever learn self love if I don't love what I see?…
STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF! BE KIND. BE KIND AND BREATHE!
The self talk in your head about your body and choices is like mean girls in high school. So its time to grow up. Don’t be the mean girl or guy to yourself! 100% of the reason you are not prioritising self care or self love or not sure you can even do it, is because of the negativity you create. It’s you!
You can change it, YEP, YOU CAN! It’s your thoughts that drive this problem, you are being so mean to yourself!
I am not suggesting you can stop the thoughts, but you can re-direct them or replace them, not necessarily with lies to yourself ‘I am the prettiest, I have a perfect body (no one is perfect, that would be boring!)
But at a minimum you could say ‘ I want to take care of me’
...‘I want to learn how to’
Negativity is the current biggest problem, and overcoming that is the foundation required for any of your health, fitness, body, mind, career, relationship goals.
It is different for everyone, and it will evolve as you evolve. Nothing happens overnight, and all good things take time, a lot of it.
Self care for me is about my physical space my desk, my house, my bathroom, my sleep, the things around me, my kitchen, order, working out, not creating drama with my thoughts, reminding myself my thoughts cant hurt me, my unhappiness is always about fixating on the things I want.
So - encourage yourself by treating yourself like a kid ‘you are alright, what can you do today to help yourself’
YOUR BODY IS YOURS, BE THE BEST YOU! DON’T WORK TO BE SOMEONE ELSE!
“What can I do today to be the best me I can be?”
Nobody else has a love will ever be enough for you, if you don’t love yourself.
Doesn’t happen over night, but it does happen.
What is one thing you could do to take care of yourself? Go to bed early, clean the kitchen, clean the bathroom, journal, sew, draw, paint, play a game, handstands, actually feel your emotions and not eat ice cream tonight… you have to start somewhere. Be on your team and work out what can you do today to be on your own team?
I don't eat well to fit a certain size of jeans, or for perfect arms…I eat well because I feel better when I do and I want to feel my best. Not in a particular moment, or for someone else. I workout because it makes me feel my best, and I want to feel my best!
Gratitude is a huge part of this. Remember to be grateful for what your body does for you, allows you to do. I am grateful for my mind, my desire to do, my desire to reach my potential. Practice this especially when you are down on yourself. Ask yourself “what do I have to be grateful for about ME?”
Also remember to bring yourself back to a place of belief - belief about YOU…belief that you can, knowing that you CAN, that it IS possible. Remind yourself it doesn't matter where I have been or what I have created up to now, because where I go from here is in my power.
Today is full of chances that are disguised as choices. What do you do with them?
Another way of practicing self care is meditating.
I care deeply about others and find that sometimes my emotions take me out of the present, so I need to chill out and come back. Im not a perfect meditator, but I do it, just for 10 mins…I get too excited otherwise and get ideas.=
If I am excessively planning, worrying, or beating myself up for things that haven't gone as I intended…just 10 breaths and its starts to calm me down! If I focus on something that I am grateful for, it also calms me down.
Taking care of the space around me also helps. It is a good foundation to self care.
Order around me helps create order within me.
Lack of order around me, creates stress and pressure within me. Some people don't struggle so much with this, but then when they do start to ‘order’ their living spaces they suddenly feel so much more in tune and in control of their thoughts.
Having order around me, makes me calmer. Its easier to keep up than to catch up. Stay on top of it.
You don’t need to stay up late on the TV or computer, you can watch it later, if it is that important.
REST CHANGES EVERYTHING.
Focus on not being mean to yourself. You don’t need to be a Princess, or a Prince, but BE KIND. Make it a priority.
PRACTICE IT, speak to yourself and about yourself with respect.
THE Foundation to fat loss is being kinder to yourself.
Weight loss, happiness, improved finances, improved relationships will be a by product of self love.
Stop battling yourself and dis-respecting yourself, grow up and treat yourself with respect you deserve.
All of your goals will be undermined if you don't respect yourself!
I apologise if this sounded like a lecture! Ha! Can you tell how passionate I am?! I just truly feel the foundations to self care start with KINDNESS AND BREATHING.
Go forth and BREATH, and Be Kind to Yourself